Mom taught daughter, 12, how to perform oral sex on man
Published September 5, 2014 – 11:46am
Last Updated September 5, 2014 – 12:00pm
The sexual abuse started at age 11, when her mother’s common-law boyfriend entered her bedroom, put his hands up her nightie and fondled her.
The girl screamed for help but her mother, who was drunk, didn’t respond.
After the girl turned 12, her mom joined in on the assaults, teaching her how to perform oral sex on the man.
“This is something you need to know and this is how you do it,” her mother told her.
The girl didn’t want to do it but followed her mother’s coaching. The man told her she was good at it and began demanding oral sex from her almost every day.
The nightmare continued until the girl was 15. She told the man she wouldn’t do it anymore and threatened to go to the police.
The man said she couldn’t report the activity because her mom was involved. “How could you do this to your own mother?” he said.
That guilt kept her from calling the police for another 11 years, after she married and had kids of her own.
Her mother and the man, who split up many years ago, were arrested and charged with sex offences in 2012.
Both eventually pleaded guilty to sexually assaulting the girl. The man, now 40, was sentenced recently in Halifax provincial court to five years in prison. The mother, 56, was supposed to be sentenced this week, but her case was adjourned until the end of September.
Judge Marc Chisholm wants input from the lawyers on the Halifax woman’s degree of responsibility for the years of abuse her daughter endured.
“It’s just a terrible, terrible case,” Crown attorney Chris Nicholson told the court during the Dartmouth man’s sentencing hearing.
The complainant’s identity is protected by a publication ban.
“It’s clear the effect on the victim has been significant and substantial,” Nicholson said. “It really has affected her whole life.”
The victim suffered from low self-esteem as a child because of the abuse and finds it difficult to have sex with her husband, the prosecutor said. “She loves him with all her heart but it brings back all these disgusting memories.”
She described her sexual encounters with her mother and the boyfriend as “a sick threesome,” Nicholson said.
“She and her mother would perform oral sex on the accused, or the accused and her mother would give her a massage. And she would get fondled during it as they rubbed cream on her breasts and between her legs.”
The five-year sentence jointly recommended by lawyers was at the low end of the appropriate range, Nicholson admitted, but took into account the man’s guilty plea and the fact he had no previous criminal record.
The abuse went on from 1996 to 2000 at the family’s homes in Halifax and Lower Sackville.
“The circumstance was even more difficult for the victim because the mother was involved,” the judge said. “She had no place of refuge, no one to turn to for assistance.”
Chisholm noted that the man, in his presentence report, said he wanted to apologize to the victim but also tried to deflect some of the blame to the mother.
“That reflected a less than complete understanding of the consequences of his actions,” the judge said.
Chisholm accepted the sentencing recommendation and ordered the man to provide a DNA sample for a national databank.
After the man gets out of prison, he has to register as a sex offender for 20 years and can’t possess firearms for 10 years.
The judge also prohibited him from going to parks, playgrounds, schools and other places frequented by children for 20 years. “The court is satisfied he presents a risk to other young people in the community,” Chisholm said.